BAD blogger, BAD!

I’m not dead, ya’ll.  I’ve just been so out of the office this week.  Actually I’ve been berried IN my damn office all week and haven’t had any personal time!

But for those 1 or 2 people who keep checking in to see if I’ve written anything new, THANKS!

I’ll be back soon!  I swear I haven’t forgotten my password or anything!  🙂

Just Heard This

I was listening to the Ed Schultz radio show this afternoon and he had a caller come on and say he heard that a log of religious black people were going to go out to the poll just to vote against him because of President Obama coming out in favor of gay marriage.

I don’t remember where he said he heard this, if in fact he did say it at all, but I was not surprised to hear this.

Since I didn’t just want to take what I heard someone say on a radio show for truth, I decided to call up the Google machine to see what it could come up with.  Just by searching “black people against obama because of gay comments” I got a ton of stuff.

On this website (http://ebonymompolitics.wordpress.com/2012/05/09/president-obama-affirms-gay-marriage-will-it-cost-him-the-black-vote/) I found something very interesting.  This link is for a tiny post I’m guessing the sites author posted about this subject titled “President Obama affirms gay marriage will it cost him the black vote?”  What I thought was really interesting, which I’m not going to touch with a ten foot pole (but might later) is this comment:

Bobby On May 10, 2012 at 3:48 am: I love President Obama, but I disappointed on his fight for all the gay rights and nothing on fixing all the wrong deeds in the past against African Americans. Reparations for slavery is a proposal that some type of compensation should be provided to the descendants of enslaved people in the United States, in consideration of the coerced and uncompensated labor their ancestors performed over centuries. President Obama will not even touch this subject!

Now on a side note, I MUST go back to that link and take part in the conversation going on in the comment section.  Some of what they are saying are things I would really like to get into and I might even post some of them on here.  But now, back to my regularly scheduled point.

One person who commented on this site says they don’t think the President will have a negative impact because: 1) black people don’t give him as much money to run his election on as do the gays; 2) black people mainly vote for Democrats; 3) black people are black and vote for black people, President Obama is black, ergo they will vote for him anyway.

In closing, because this is just a quick rant, I’m going to end up rolling all in the subject I said I would not right now touch with that big-ass pole.

I do think black people helped him considerably because I personally know a lot of black people got out and voted FOR THE FIRST TIME IN THEIR LIVES because they had the opportunity to vote for a  BLACK MAN to become PRESIDENT.  These were not black people who had just turned the legal age to vote.  These were black people in their 40s, 50s, and 60s.  And I’m just talking about the ones I knew.  I’m sure they were not the “few exceptions” to the rule.  Black people, in general, just do not vote in proportional large numbers and that is something you can statistically fact check.

And I believe there are quite a few black people who will not return to the polls for his re-election because they have not been given what they thought they would receive (see the comment above).

Feel free to discuss below, or send me an email.

You Might Not Like This

Ok, this might not go over too well and for that I’m very sorry.  And I kind of can’t believe I’m actually going to say this but you will have to hear me out on this one and maybe you “might” agree…or you might not and I might never have another reader ever again!  So here we go….

FINALLY, after years and years and years, President Obama finally came out in support of Gay Marriage.  I think it’s about fucking time and I really think more people should get behind this!  But, with that being said….

I kind of wish he would have waited a few months to say this…like waited a few months until after he won reelection.

The reason I say this is since he’s waited this damn long, why do it NOW because I really don’t think enough people who support this idea are going to suddenly get behind him because those people were probably already behind him.

I think in this political climate there are more downsides than upsides to him coming out in support of marriage equality.  Him supporting our equal rights, which he should do, isn’t going to do anything at the moment to help us.  I think he should have waited and MAYBE after he gets reelected he could do what he “should have done and didn’t” when he first got elected and stop trying to play nice with all these people who are not going to play nice with him just because of who he is!

From the very beginning of his administration the right-wing has been doing everything in their power to block everything that he wants to do.  I think what he should have done from the beginning of his administration is put is proverbial foot down and fight with them where need be.  What most people don’t realize is even though he’s the President, there aren’t a lot of things he can do by himself without the help of the Congress and Senate.  We, the voters, should have given him a large majority in both houses and then we could have been farther down the road to recovery than we are now.

I’m just really afraid that this is going to be a tough election and we might lose it.  I don’t think all the minority people that went out to vote and helped him get elected will do so the second time around.  Even though it is not a politically correct thing to say, I do think there are a lot of black people that went out to vote for the first time and that did help him.  No, it is true, they did not elect him alone, but they certainly did help and I think they will be too lazy to do so this time.  (That’s going to be another unpopular thing to say.)

Just to say something about the black comment:

I happen to work with a lot of black people who are on the low end of the economic ladder.  They have been given the shaft for a very long time.  During that election I asked them had they ever voted before and they said no.  They didn’t feel like there was anything in it for them because the government has already been run by old white people.  This was different, and it was.  It was a very important time in our history because finally a black man was going to be living in the house that slaves built.

Since then I’ve heard someone say that “he didn’t do anything for us” and I guess they thought they were going to get something out of him becoming President.  What that was I don’t know, but they don’t see that just him becoming President helped them out.

So I will certainly be sitting on pins and needles during this election and I hope my fellow Americans don’t fuck it up and elect Romney.  But I hope Obama will put his foot down more in his second term that I so hope he gets.  I also hope we give him a majority in the House and Senate this time because we certainly failed to do that last time.

My Mind is Killing Me (and this is what rambling trains of thought look like)

Ok, so it’s not quite that extreme, but sometimes I feel it’s getting close.  Not close as in I’m going to kill myself but close as in…my mind is driving me fucking CRAZY!  Actually, my mind really is crazy.

I was diagnosed with Depression, Manic Depression, and mild Bipolar a while back.  Depression is what I’ve been diagnosed with the most but one actual Psychiatrist said I was Manic Depressive and mildly Bipolar.  I think he was right.

I remember a while back…like 10ish years ago…the actual Psychiatrist who gave me those diagnosis actually sat and talked to me for the entire 45 minutes to an hour.  He was even the one who was going to do the talk therapy with me without giving that task to someone else.  I’ve been to one since then and he only spent – at most – twenty minutes with me.  All talk therapy he recommended was to be done by someone else.  Someone in his office, but someone else nonetheless.

If you ever watch Frasier, a sitcom I absolutely love partially because I’m in love with Niles, they are Psychiatrists, not Psychologists, and they seem to spend the entire “almost hour” with their patients.  Now, however,  you don’t get that and I miss it.  (But we all know American Healthcare is in the fucking toilet so I guess I’m just beating an already dead horse (excuse the metaphor) on that one.)  While I do eventually want to be a Psychologist, I think it would be better if I was with an actual Psychiatrist for the entire time and I would like him, or her, to do the talk therapy with me so he can try to figure out what it is I really need without fucking guessing.  Sometimes people just need talk therapy, which I know is part of what I need, but I also need actual medicine because there is a chemical imbalance which is causing me to have some of the thoughts and feelings I’m having and I would really like one person to take care of all of this!

But, I’m getting off on a tangent…again.

So anyway, I do have a chemical imbalance in my brain and I’m quite fine with that.  I don’t think there’s anything really “wrong” with me in a “bad” way, I just think I have a chemical imbalance and I need medicine to cope with that, and fix it, and I’m fine with that.

What I’m not fine with is my dumb ass continues to NOT take my fucking medicine and then I get a little crazy.  Or at least I get a little crazier than normal.  What I really hate is when I actually get depressed.  Most of my “episodes” aren’t so much depression as anger which I kindly take out on the people I work with; I’m sure they love that.  I’m sure they love that even more since they are technically working “for me” as in I’m the boss, bitch.

God this just reads like a rambling fucking mess right now.  Hope you enjoy!

So now that you know I’m a little crazy, I’ll get to the point of this post.  I was also kind of thinking about what I wanted to use this blog for…or what some of the things I wanted to talk about are.  This is one of them: dealing with mental illness and mental issues.

I think there are probably a lot of people out there who have these problems and they just don’t want to discuss them.  Things are getting better for “us,” but I think we still have a long way to go.  I’ve already said that I don’t want to give out my real name, or associate my “real-life” self with this blog because of my job, but I’m also not afraid of or ashamed of this issue I have.  Some of my colleagues who I have kind of become friends with now that I have some of these issues.  They know there’s a medication I take for this issue, and they know what it is.  (I’m not going to say which one I take in this blog because I really don’t think it’s important.)

So that’s what all of this is saying, one of the things I want to start writing about is mental illness, how I deal with it, what my problems are, and what I find online regarding the illness and how to cope with it.  Maybe it will help somebody.  Maybe there’s a reader out that who found – or will find – this blog and it will help them.  I think we have already discovered by some of what I’ve written that I’m not completely “healthy.”

But don’t be misled.  Nothing that I write means I hate myself.  I don’t.  I think I’m great just the way I am.  I just need to work on a few things and fine tune and polish some others.  I’m a smartass.  I’m sarcastic.  Some of the things I say are more me being sarcastic than me being “down on myself.”

I’m going to save this for a later date, but one of the things I would like to discuss is one of those things we have “a long way to go on” which is the fact that people don’t like those with mental health issues to be in leadership roles or positions such as managers, or executives in general.  I think that’s a mistake.