Unnecessary

(Written 12.31.14)
So I had to go to Walmart for a couple things tonight and I’m not good at just going in for what I need – what is supposed to be on my list – and leaving.  I’m especially not good and making it a quick trip if I just got off work.  Why?  I don’t know.

New K-Cup Canister

New K-Cup Canister

Backing up to a couple weeks ago, my coffee pot “broke” when I accidentally threw away the brew basket.  (Long story we’re not getting into right now.)  So, one night, again, after work, I went to Walmart to buy a new coffee pot because I was tired of not having coffee in the morning.

So while I was walking around looking for a coffee pot, I was trying to find the cheapest one I could that was a 4-cup coffee maker with a timer.  Maybe if I had coffee waiting for me when I rolled my fat ass out of bed I would be more included to get out of bed one time.

Side note: I’ve tried this before and it totally doesn’t even work for me.  In fact, I have even gotten up, had a couple of cups of coffee along with a few smokes, and then went back to bed for “30 minutes” which turned into about 3 hours.  ON a fucking WORK DAY, no less.  But anyway….

And so I found the 2 different ones that I was thinking about getting and I couldn’t make up my mind.  I think I did finally make up my mind and I put one of them in the buggy.  I was about the leave the isle and on my way out of that isle I looked to my left as I was pushing my buggy and ….

…. I saw the Keurigs.

So here’s the thing.  I have been thinking about these.  A good friend of mine just got one of these and another friend of mine has had one for a while.  Both really like them.  At first, when they first came out, I was totally opposed to them because a) I’m a little bit of a coffee snob, and b) I never have “one cup.”  In fact, the mugs I use are pretty big.  So the little 4-cup coffee makers I always buy – more than that and I’ll burn it so I’d just rather make several pots – are perfect for me.  And, it’s not like I ever have anyone over in my house.

But lately I have been thinking about them more and more because I realized they have multiple settings.  And I have had a few cups of coffee from them and some of them aren’t bad.  Plus you can buy those little things – which I bought one of and still haven’t used – that allows you to use your own grownds.  So, with that little accessory I can be a coffee snob and still make one cup at a time.

So…I bought one.

When I got it home I opened it and made a cup of coffee before bed and LOVED IT!

I’m totally thinking about making a cup now because even though it’s 1 in the morning (December 31st to me but officially January 1, 2015) I wouldn’t mind having a cup of coffee.  And that’s just the thing!  Not only does it make a cup of coffee super quick, but you can really make one pretty good cup of coffee at a time.  PLUS, there’s no fucking mess!  That’s the other great part about it!  All you do is open the lid, pull the used k-cup out, and toss it!  NO MESS!

SO!  Six-hundred plus words later, we’re getting close to the point of this post so if you’ve made it this far just hang in a little longer because we’re getting close to the end….

Since I bought the Keurig, the one for home that night and the very next day I bought another one to have in my office at work, I have been thinking that I would like something nice to put my k-cups in.

I was thinking about that small rectangle decorative cardboard box you guy at some of the crafting stores.  You can also pick them up at TJ Maxx and the like.  I have one that would work.  Now that I think about it I don’t think I still have that one, but I still have several things I could use.  And while I was at Walmart I initially picked up a little $3 plastic screw-top container but when I say this, the picture above, I put it back and picked up not one, but 2 of these.  But the point is, and the bottom line, I DON’T FUCKING NEED THIS!

At home, there is nothing nice and pretty about my counter.  I’m living with my dad and he is very practical and there is NO space for anything.  He wouldn’t know something nice, or what it was for, if it hit him in the head.  He doesn’t like nice, he doesn’t do nice, he has no time for it.  How I turned out how I am is beyond me!  Actually, now that I say that…that happens to be something that I would like to spend quite some time writing about because I have some very strong opinions on that subject.

Anyway, nobody comes over so there is really no reason to have this.  But, I was thinking all of this when I was looking at it and putting them both in my buggy but I thought, “well, I can get and use this now and I will have something nice for my k-cups to be in when I move to my new apartment because all of this stuff is going with me.  The Keurig isn’t staying here because dad doesn’t like it or really use it.  So that will just be one less thing that I will have to buy when I find a home.

And as for my office…well…there’s a long story why I’m not putting my k-cups in cabinets there.  So I do kind of need something nice and tidy to put them in.  I could have only bought one but, oh well.  This is what I did.  And this is one of those things that I need to stop doing.  It is one of those things that makes me not have any money!

Now, on another side note, I think they’re kind of cute.  I mean, to be inexpensive.  I really like the glass version which has a brushed silver lid which is only a couple dollars more and I really kind of want to go buy several of them.  I mean, I’m not going to because I totally don’t have my own place right now so there’s no reason to buy more crap for a place I don’t have yet.  But, just sayin’.

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Flat Tire – I Was Proud of Myself

So I woke up this morning at 7.  Good for me.  Then I went back to bed and didn’t actually get up until 9.  Why 9?  Because my boss called me on my cell phone.  I don’t think she knew I had just woke up…I played it cool with my voice, I think.  If she did know she didn’t say anything.  I do know she first called my office but she didn’t say anything.  I’m cutting it close, I know.

So then I was thinking, “well, if I quickly shower and get dressed and leave by 9:30 that will put me in the office by 10 and that should be about the time” – I was totally guessing – “she is getting to her office.  So if she calls me after that there will be no questions.”

Well, I didn’t iron clothes last night, either.  So that took even longer.  It was about 10 minutes before 10 when I finally left the house.

On Sunday I realized I needed to replace one of the tires on my car; mettle threads were showing and sticking out of the tire.  I realized there was a problem when my car started bouncing down the road more than it usually does.  I looked.  I saw.  I did not curse or use fowl language.  (I was really proud of myself.)

Monday I went to the guy I normally use so I could get a new tire.  He’s a really nice guy and I trust him.  That, in my opinion, is huge.  I always feel…at a disadvantage, for the lack of a better word…when I need to have anything done to my car.  I know how to drive it but I don’t know how to fix it.  He wasn’t there.  Some other guy was there so I don’t know if he took over or is just taking some time off.  From the way the new guy sounded, he’s the new owner.  Hopefully he’s not because I don’t like him as much as the other guy.

He said he didn’t have the size I needed but should on Wednesday: that is today.

This morning my tire went flat.  I did not curse or say anything bad.  (I was very proud of myself.)

A flat tire on a Mercury Villager van.

A flat tire on a Mercury Villager van. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

When I saw him he asked me how many miles I drive everyday.  I told him about 70.  That’s a low number, but whatever.  He said it wouldn’t last that long.  I thought he might be right, but I’ve been told that by other tire people – not with this tire and not with tires that were this bad – and they were wrong.  I knew I needed to be careful because I knew it could go out at any time.

Turns out he was right.

There are not a lot of things I would say I’m good at but admitting with I’m legitimately wrong is one of them.  Beyond that, admitting when I have done something stupid.  I have done a lot of stupid things in life.  If I took the time to list all the stupid things I’ve done, and continue to do, I would be here all day.

So I was very proud of myself – not for the first time with something like this – when I did not get upset when my tire went flat.  I didn’t get upset and I acted like it was no big deal because with all things considered, it wasn’t.

It also probably helped that I have been taking my Prozac like I’m supposed to and I haven’t been in a rageful mood.

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Sunday, June 9, 2013 – This Weekend Was Fun

Sunday, June 9, 2013 – Actually Monday morning at 12:17AM – This Weekend Was Fun

I didn’t do anything special, but this was a fun, relaxing weekend.

I had planned to get up around 10ish this morning (Sunday morning), however I did not.  I did not get up until 1.  And then at 2 I took a nap.  It was supposed to be a thirty minute nap, but it turned into a 2 hour nap.  I’m okay with that.

Yesterday, Saturday, I went to Sun City which is about an hour north of where I work and an hour and half north of where I live.  I like it there and I have to go there for work a lot but I never go to any of the stores or do anything other than pass through it when I go.  Yesterday I went to the mall and bookstore.  I didn’t go downtown, which I really like, but still, I enjoyed the city and had fun.  (Down town is pretty much an entirely different place compared to the rest of Sun City.)

I also went to Best Buy because I was looking for a new computer bag…and I just wanted to shop.

I’ve been thinking a lot about not spending money lately, and I haven’t spent that much.  But I did spend about $50 in the bookstore, and $20 on a pair of sunglasses.  I also bought some Van’s, which I really like, that were on sale for $30, but I didn’t.  And they were even in my new favorite color and I still resisted.

I figured I had already spent enough and I didn’t need any more shoes right now, which is all true.

While I was at Best Buy I found a laptop bag I thought I wanted and I was going to go back and get it if I didn’t find anything better in the mall.  For whatever reason, I did not return to get it after leaving the mall.  I think that is because I had decided to go to another city on Sunday and would go to the computer store and see what they had.  I thought they might have a bigger selection.

Well then on Sunday I didn’t get up in time to go…it’s about an hour south of where I live.  I did, however, end up going to Best Buy there and bought it.  It is Swiss Gear or Swiss Guard and I paid $79 for it.  I wanted something with a better name if I was going to spend that much but I went with it.  Now, I’m not sure I like it.  I will return it if I don’t…but I think Best Buy charges a restock fee for returns.  Actually, I returned something the other day and they didn’t.  It was a while back, not the other day, but still.

The thing I don’t like about it is that it feels top heavy…and it doesn’t sit on my shoulder right.  If it’s not going to be comfortable it will be returned.  But, it does have plenty of space for my stuff!

Oh, and the most exciting purchase I made on Saturday was a new Screaming Meanie alarm clock.  Truckers use them; they are super loud.  Maybe I can wake up on time now.  It was $35.

I’m having problems with either the internet or my computer, I’m not sure which.

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June 1, 2013 – 1:54PM

This was written on the date above but I’m not posting it until now because I was having a computer issue.  I couldn’t get my Mac to connect to my home network and when I was at the coffee house I forgot to post it.  I also forgot about it when I was at home and could have moved it to my flash drive and then posted it online using my other computer.  So, a day late, but here it is.  

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Before I went to bed last night I set my alarm for 9:30 and 10AM.  I had the intentions of getting up and going to town – about an hour away from where I live, an hour and half away from where I work – because I wanted to enjoy a day out and needed to do some shopping for work.  There’s a few items we need and can’t get in the town I work in.  Then I remembered….

I forgot to get money from work to pay for the things I needed and I had also left most of the money I had left in my office, too.  I know, it’s always a good idea to leave your personal money in your office at work.  I haven’t gone to the banking center yet to deposit it and didn’t want to carry it around with me.  Smart, I know.

And I was just reminded, when I had to type in my password to install an update, I need to go through all my websites which I have a password for and change the password.  I had to give my password out to two different people this week – again, I know, not smart – and I would like to change that.

So I remembered this little fuck up while I was at Walmart looking for a cool pad for my Mac.

I recently tweeted, I think, that I had resisted the urge to buy some things that I don’t need.  I also resisted the urge to buy a cool pad last night because I do have one I don’t like that I can clean the dust and cat hair from that my dad used to use.  (#runon much?)  I’m also going to go online and look for one that is 13 inches but I don’t have to buy that one right now.  So there has been a little progress in the life of a serial shopping: a shopaholic.  But part of that may also be the fact that I think I’m about out of money.

So last night I decided I would have to drive into work before going to town.  This morning – and by morning I totally mean “noon” – when I finally got out of bed I didn’t move very far.  I was reading a book a little while ago and got sleepy.  Luckily I decided not to go back to bed.  I got up and started moving by ironing my clothes for today.  So props to me for resisting that urge, too.

I also wanted to clean out and wash my car today, but I don’t think that is going to get done.  At least if it does it won’t happen until late tonight, right before I return home.

One of the places I needed to go in town closes at 5 and are closed on Sunday.  It is now 3PM and that will not happen.  I don’t want to go next week so I don’t know what I’ll do.  Maybe I will go next week but that will just take even more time out of what I really need to do!  That or I’ll have to get up super early one morning which I don’t like doing.

As for today, I don’t know what I’m going to do.  I want to get some writing done.  I would like to go in and get a little paperwork done at work.  I really need to clean my fucking office, and organize all the paperwork that is strewn all over the fucking place.  At the moment I think I’ll get ready, pick up my money, probably go to the coffee shop first and get a little writing done.  I’m not going to go to town.  The other place I wanted to go in town was a used bookstore that I know will be closed tomorrow.  But I didn’t really need to go there…but I really, really wanted to.  I bet I could find some books about my Mac there.  That thought really makes me want to go but, oh well.

But the biggest point I’d like to make is that I’m not going to beat myself up for not getting up and 9:30 like I wanted to and not getting more accomplished today.  It is, after all, Saturday, a day for me to rest and recoup my sanity.  Something that really does need to be done frequently!  Maybe more will get done tomorrow, and maybe it won’t.  We will just have to see how today ends up.

A Blast from the Past – Part Three – Randomness #1

Another old post, hope you enjoy.

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This was originally posted 12.21.09

Randomness

 I’m at work right now but I really don’t want to do anything productive.  That’s the problem I’ve had several times when I worked this shift in past months.  During the past couple of months, I’ve had my assistant work this shift when someone was sick or needed a day off…which hasn’t been very often which is a good thing.  For the longest time, I was doing it myself and I even did it for about a month straight when our weekend person quit and I had to find her replacement.  I’m thinking the part time person I hired to replace the last one isn’t going to be able to work nights much longer…but that might not be my problem.

I’ve been trying to think of ways I could cut down my expenses if I do lose my job but I’m not looking forward to it.  I should have saved money but didn’t.  It’s very hard for me to save money because I am a spender.  I hope to find another job with this same salary, $35,000 a year plus bonuses that ended up being around $2,300 a year, when I leave this job.  I really want to save money then!  I need to cut down what I spend so I can save money.  One of the things I want to cut down is my cell phone bill.

I’ve been spending about $130 a month for my BlackBerry but I really don’t need that phone.  I haven’t gotten rid of it yet, though, because I love it!  I am SO a CrackBerry Addict!  There are so many things you can do with that phone, and I love the keyboard!  It’s hard to decide which I love better…the internet or the keyboard.  I can write things I think of at any time because I don’t need a pen and paper.  I can make notes of things I need to do or books I see in the bookstore that I want to get later or find at amazon.com at a lower price.  I can also get on the internet anytime and I’ve used it to look up numbers and address and even directions of places I’ve been going.  I just love that phone!  Oh, and I can connect it to my laptop and have regular internet on my computer no matter where I am.

There are some people in the back building and I’m not sure what they are doing.  I’ve seen them sitting outside their room several times and just a few minutes ago I saw a lady throwing clothes downstairs and a couple of people getting into the car so I thought they were having a fight.  Now I’m not sure.

Okay, they just came down and I think something is going on.  They just checked out early but I didn’t look to see when they checked in.  His eyes looked a little bloodshot so I thought me might be on drugs, but I could be wrong.  After I gave him a receipt, he said he had a couple questions.  He then asked what would happen if a hotel employee got into a fight with his wife.  I was thinking “oh shit” because Sherry Ann worked the last shift.  Then he said it wasn’t this hotel and the hotel worked punched and kicked his wife.  I told him I didn’t know, it depends on the hotel policy but the GM knows and asked them to leave…so I’m guess there’s nothing he can do besides possible legal actions.

Back to my phone, in January I can upgrade my phone and at that time I think I’m actually downgrade it to a regular phone.  That should save me around $80 or $85 a month.  Right now I have 900 minutes and 5 numbers I can call without using any of my minutes.  I can use my house phone more and only use the cell when it’s work related…provided I still have this job.

I also saw at Wal-Mart a Straight Talk phone which would only be $45 a month with unlimited minutes.  If more and more of these types of phone plans come out which don’t require a contract, I think it will change the cellular phone world.  Other than have a nicer, better phone with more features and options, I’m not sure why you would want to get locked into a 2 year contract when you don’t even get unlimited minutes at such a low price.  For me to cut my plan down to a regular phone at the $39.99 monthly price which only gives 450 minutes, I would still be paying about $45 a month after taxes.  I would probably have to change my phone number, but that’s not such a big deal.

One of the biggest and easiest ways I could save money would be to stop eating out so much: this would help my budget and my health.  For several months I’ve been buying more food and cooking at home some, but I haven’t cooked that much because I’m just so mentally drained when I get home that I don’t feel like it.  Then, on the weekends, I don’t have the energy to cook.  I’m still not totally sure if that’s because I’m lazy or because I’m depressed.  At the least, it has to be a mix of both.  Otherwise, it’s just because I’m depressed.

The other thing I can do is quit the impulse buys!

The Universal Access Health Care bill just passed the Senate.  I’m not sure that was a good thing or not.  I don’t think it’s good enough and it has caused – or in the days to come – will cause an even greater divide among Republicans and Democrats which might cause Democrats to lose control in 2010 and it might even cause President Obama to lose a reelection in 2012.  What I’m also afraid of is that the insurance companies are going to end up winning, or finding a way to win, so they don’t lose money.  I think what we really need is insurance company reform!  I just don’t think our health should be a profit-driven business!  I think everyone should have equal access for health care.  I think we should have something like some of the other developed nations have – Universal Healthcare!  We should look at all the models out there and pick the best parts of each.  Another thing I’m worried about is the cost to me.  Dad said something about we would have to pay a lot for it and if we didn’t we would be fined.  For most people, if they could afford individual health insurance plans they would buy them.  I know I’ve looked into it before and the cost is outrageous!

As an update to what I posed last about the possibility of being fired on Monday, my boss didn’t check in tonight, he does live about 7 hours away, and he does have his weekly Monday conference call with the Home Office so maybe I won’t be.  Then he could fly in tomorrow…or the VP could fly in and do the deed himself.  But, I won’t be here past 12 because I have to work until 12P and then I’m going home and going to bed!  Actually, if I have energy – which I don’t think I will – I will fill out some applications.  I think I’ll just have to save that for Saturday…but the day after Christmas might not be the best time but at least the GM’s will have them on Monday morning.

Again, no editing…hope I didn’t f it up too many things!

I’m Happy, Can I Spend Now?

I just got off the phone with the student loan people and had my student loan payment reduced by half.  Now I only have to

English: Day 3 of the protest Occupy Wall Stre...

English: Day 3 of the protest Occupy Wall Street in Manhattan’s Zuccotti Park. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

pay $135 for the next two years.

I was in a recovery program for a year so now the loan went back to the original loaners, I guess.  Hopefully the bad stuff will soon be taken off my credit.

But now that I got my loan payment reduced, I want to celebrate…by spending money.  Money I don’t really have this week.

I really shouldn’t spend any extra money this week and I told myself that I wouldn’t.  But I want to.  I really, really want to now because I’m happy.

I want to send money when I’m happy.  I want to spend money with I’m sad.  I want to spend money when I’m depressed.  I just want to spend money.

My name is Gi, and I have a problem.  A spending problem.

 

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Can I Cry Now, or Should I Wait

I’m not sure if I should cry now or wait…but I’m thinking now sounds pretty good.

I used to live the solo life but that didn’t seem to go so well.  I had a cheap place that I didn’t like because it was falling apart that I had the option to buy.  I toyed with that idea for a little while but thought it was really a horrid idea because I didn’t have the time or money to fix it up…and it would have had to be almost completely gutted to really make decent.  There was, I’m pretty fucking sure, some mold involved in the walls.  I know there was, along with a leaking roof, in one of the bedrooms.  It just wasn’t worth it.

So now I’m not living alone and I don’t like that at all.  I also have a lot of gas to pay for because I have to drive 35 miles each way to work…and my car does not get 35 miles to the gallon!

Anyway.  So I’ve been thinking about moving to the city I work in because not only am I tried of living with someone, I am also tired of spending so much money in gas.  Today, after all, gas is $3.82 a gallon and I’m guess it’s not going down anytime soon.  Summer is just around the corner, after all.  And thieves are running the country.

So I was adding up the bills that I have now, which equal about $1,620 per month…which would explain why I’m always broke.  And I also added up what I think my bills would be if I moved, $1,940.  And those totals are per month.  And they are just guesstimates.  I’m not exactly sure what I’m spending right now but I do need to find out.

As for what I’m spending right now, the only things I’m not completely sure about are the variables like food, gas, cigarettes, and then the other crap I spend my money on but probably shouldn’t.

As for the bills I think I would have when I moved everything is a variable at this point.  Well, at least almost everything.  My $340 car payment – which I will have for another 2 more years; my $250 student loan payment – which I will have…until I fucking die; and my $100 cell phone bill – which I will also have until I die…or become really, really poor.  While it is true I could reduce my cell phone bill by about $55 to $70 by going to a cheap ass Straight Talk prepaid minute phone, I don’t want to!  I’ve become quite accustomed to having a smartphone and do not want to live without it.  I had much rather quit smoking which would be a really fucking smart idea!

I’m actually hoping my student loan will go down soon because right now I’m in a recovery program because some dumbass ignored the payments for quite some time and was almost garnished.  I only have 2 to 5 more payments left at which time the bad marks on my credit should be removed.  I’m also hoping at that time, which is what they said, I will be able to lower my payment.  I’m really hoping to reduce it by about $100.  They did say I would be able to then qualify for more student loans or stop paying for them all together if I go back to school.  I would like to return to school but my current GPA would not allow for me to qualify for student loans at the moment and I don’t have the money, at the moment, to pay for the classes out right.

(When I got promoted a few years ago I quit school in the middle of the semester which completely  annihilated my previously good GPA.)

What I have guesstimated as the living expenses is $200 for food – which I’m not sure if it will be enough…certainly not if I want to start “eating healthy;” $500 for rent – which I’m really hoping will be about $100 less for a studio apartment instead of the one bedroom which I was hoping I would be able to afford but I now totally see is out of the question; $60 for internet – which I couldn’t live with out…at least I really wouldn’t want to; $130 for car insurance – which I’m currently not paying for because my day still pays my insurance; $100 for power – which I’m also hoping will be about $50 less since it will be a studio apartment which…is about 288 square feet; $40 for water/sewer; and $150 for gas.

The problem comes in that I only bring home $2,080 a month after taxes.  That would leave, if the bills are $1,940, only about $140 A MONTH left for any and everything extra…and all emergencies that come up, clothing, etc.  That is not enough!

I guess I should just wait until I get out of the student loan recovery and see how much my loan payments really do go down.  (But I sure as fucking hell don’t want to have to wait until my car is paid off…which will take another 2 years!)

And it’s not like I have the money for deposits and other stuff so it’s not like I could move out tomorrow if I wanted to.  I was thinking I should start buying stuff little by little for the new place – since I lost everything I owned in a storage unit incident – but now I’m thinking I should just save that money instead.

This is just depressing.  I really want to fucking move!  I want my own place.  I want to be able to fix the place just the way I want it…which will take fucking money I obviously won’t have!