A Journal Entry – 12.22.13

Two posts in one day!  If you haven’t already, be sure to check out the one called “Douchebags Among Us.

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So last night after sitting at the coffee house for a while, and writing and posting a post, I decided to go to my friend’s house.  She lives in a town about an hour away from where I’m at right now.  I think one of the main reasons I wanted to go was because I wanted to go to the bookstore.  We have a bookstore where I live/work but I like the other one better.  I just like not being in the town I live/work in so, you have that.

So here’s the thing.  I work in town B and I live in town A.  Town A and B are about a half hour apart.  I’m staying, for the moment, in town B because I need a break.  I’ve thought about moving here because this is where I work and most of my life is but I really hate the place.

And I don’t really know what I even mean when I say “most of my life is here now”.  My doctor is in town A, my pharmacist is in town A.  My home is in town A.  I get my haircut in town B and I work in town B.  I have one friend in town A that I would like to visit more but don’t.  I have one friend in town B who we ocassionally go shopping together but we could still do that even if I lived in town A.  I could still go visit my one friend in town A if I lived in town B.  I have two friends.  One in each town.

There is nothing keeping me in town A except for my bedroom.  There is nothing keeping me in town B except for my job.

And when I say “my home” is in town A I don’t mean my “home” just where I’m “living” right now.  It’s where my bedroom is and where I spend the occasional day off.  That’s a whole other thing to write about but I’ll to it later.

So I guess maybe the only reason I’m in town B is because of work.  And I fucking hate town B!  I hate it with a passion!  I hate the people here.  The small-mindedness.  The…the…I just hate it.  And I’m not even going to talk about the gay boys here but, lets me honest, I’d probably have that problem everywhere right now.

And lets talk about the gay boys for a minute.  Fuck Them!  If they are in town B, that is.  Fuck all the gay boys in town B!

I think I’m just going to take myself off the market for a while.  I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately and I’m just done.  I’m not looking anymore.  And I’m going to close all my “socal” accounts for “dating.”  I’m going to take myself off the market for a while because I’ve got to make some changes.  I’ve got to deal with some issues.  I’ve got to figure some shit out!  There is having baggage and then there’s me.  The shit I have, I think, is way more than just baggage and I need to clean that shit up before I try to date.  Plus I don’t want to get attached to anybody here because I want to get the fuck out of this goddamn town, and area, quick fast and in a fucking big ass hurry!

So I went to town C last night which is about a hour away from town B.  While I was there I also wanted to go to Best Buy, which I did.

I didn’t buy anything.  I almost bought another iPhone charger because I think I need one more since I upgraded to the new 5S, which I’m in love with, btw.  I looked at and almost bought another iPhone case but I know I would have ended up not liking it as much as the one I have now so I didn’t.  I didn’t buy anything.  I didn’t find anything I really wanted and I didn’t make an impulse purchase.  I did want to go to Staples but I didn’t get there in time to find one.  I don’t like the new one in town B because it’s in the ghetto.  I know, I’m a bitch but they moved to the wrong side of the tracks.  Maybe I’ll explain that later.  I know, I already said I was a bitch.

I did go to the Chinese restaurant that I like to go to when I’m in C.  I hope I wasn’t eating cat.  I tweeted a picture about it.  Go check it out.  Feel free to follow me on twitter.  #happyface.

I did not go to the bookstore.  I’m not sure why but today I am kind of wishing I had.  Well, here’s the thing with that.

I kind of do this a lot.  I will get the idea to go somewhere.  To some store.  It doesn’t really matter what store and I don’t always know when it’s going to happen.  When I’m not alone this never happens but when I am by myself it does.  I will drive all the way there.  It doesn’t matter if it’s close or an hour away.  I will drive there and sometimes even get to the parking lot and park my car.  Then I will think, “nope, can’t do it.”  I don’t go in.

I get this feeling that I just don’t want to get out of my car and have to deal with people.  I don’t want to be seen.  And I don’t go.  It’s another one of those things I need to unpack with a therapist.

After eating I went to my friend’s house.  While I was with her two different things happened with prompted two different posts I will later be writing and posting.  One will be called “I Stood Up to Her” and the other is a condom story that I haven’t thought of a name for yet.

Then, while I was driving to C, before I ever got there, something else happened which I will have to write about called “She Doesn’t Like Me.”  I think all three posts will be good and I hope you find them entertaining.  I also hope I find it therapeutic to write about.

After leaving her house about 12:30 I got home around 1:30 and didn’t go to bed until 5 in the morning.  Then I slept until 2.  Tomorrow is Monday and I need to get up early to get something done for work.  That means I cannot sleep until 11 in the fucking morning because my boss nicely asked me to please get this done as soon as possible Monday morning and I would really like to have it done for my by 8AM.  I would like to have it done and waiting for him in his email inbox by the time he gets to work.  Hopefully I won’t be a complete fucking loser tomorrow morning.

But it is Christmas week and I can already see me taking it easy at work this week.  We will see what actually happens.

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