So poo-poo on this day.
So I think we all know by now I suck at taking my medicine every day. In fact, with this heading where it’s going to I will even tell you now…I haven’t even taken my medicine yet for today. That should tell you how stellar I am. And it’s not like my pills were all the way at my house while I was at work. (In the past I have been keeping them at my desk at work.) No, I decided to start keeping them in my computer bag because that way I can remember to take them.
Actually, a friend of mine with whom I was talking about my shitty moods and not taking my pills like I should suggested I start keeping them in my bag. I took her up on the suggestion. And today, while I was at work and knew I was in a foul mood, my bag sat next to my desk. All day. With the pills inside. Waiting for me to take them. I didn’t. I still haven’t. Even after sitting at the coffee shop and talking to her about it.
I think I pissed her off today, actually, but I can’t say I give a fuck. I mean I did tell her this was one of those days where I have no fucks left to give. Someone at work today asked me what was wrong. She said I didn’t seem this way when I first came in.
The thing is, most of the time I don’t feel like I’m in a bad mood or like this is going to be a bad day when I first get up. It’s usually at work that I get pissed off. Like, as soon as I fucking walk in the god damn door I get pissed! Something about being at work sends me over the edge. They don’t have to do anything. Nobody has to piss me off when I get there. All they have to do is say “hi” and I’ll get pissed.
But I wasn’t in a rageful mood, I just didn’t feel like doing anything and didn’t feel like being bothered. Today was one of those days when I just wanted to be left alone.
I’m going to get up and take my pills now. Maybe tomorrow will be a better day.
And maybe my missing 1 day – or maybe 2 – of pills has nothing to do with my mood, I don’t know. It wasn’t a “bad” day but it wasn’t a “good” day, either. It was one of those days that when I was coming home I was thinking I would like to go somewhere alone this weekend and just get away.
I should look for some gay cabins or gay campgrounds with cabins. I need a little bit of “home comforts.” Like running fucking water, an air conditioner, and a nice CLEAN toilet! But that would be fun.