If there’s one thing I know for sure it is that this, what I’m doing right now and the way I’m living, isn’t working. This cannot continue. I can’t keep going like this and I can, I just can’t, keep up with this bullshit! Something has got to go!
Today was one of those days when I just wanted to snap. By the end of the day I wanted to go the fuck off on someone until it wasn’t even funny!
I was sitting at a red light. I was fumbling with something, I think it might have been my phone, and I knew there was a six-pack of IBC Cream Soda – glass bottles – sitting in my back floorboard with one sitting in the back seat.
I was several cars behind the red light, maybe the 4th one in line.
There was a red Honda Accord Coupe driven by a tallish young guy. The light turned green and there were 2 car length in front of me before I noticed. In the split second before I went, after I noticed what was going on, I thought of the guy in the car behind me. I thought if he honked his fucking horn I would slam on brakes, grab the amber-colored bottle from my backseat, get out of my car and yell at him telling him “if you want to fuck with me you blog that God-damn horn one more fucking time,” then throw the bottle at his windshield.
I thought how much I wish I had a taser in case he then tried to get out of his car and come after me.
That is when I fucking knew I needed to go home. I didn’t, but it’s when I thought I really needed to.
Before that event, I had already slammed my car door – which I never usually do – to go back into my office to get something I forgot. My coffee. I had forgot to get my coffee out of the microwave. I also wanted to throw my phone across my car – which I also never do because I don’t even set my iPhone down hard…I am only gental and kind to that wonderful devise – because the internet wasn’t working. Fucking Sprint!
Today is when I wanted to snap. I wanted to fucking go the fuck off at anybody.
It is days like today that I can’t take many more of. Something has GOT to give! Something has got to change!