My Life is a Hot Mess – Driver’s License Issue – The Finale

My Life is a Hot Mess – Driver’s License Issue – Part 1

My Life is a Hot Mess – Driver’s License Issue – Part 2

My Life is a Hot Mess – Driver’s License Issue – Part 3

My Life is a Hot Mess – Driver’s License Issue – Part 4 – Before Bed Thoughts


So I finally got my license.

Proper Driver's Licence

Proper Driver’s Licence (Photo credit: Noeluap)

First thing Thursday morning we went to the court house – to the probate court – to get a copy of my birth certificate and my ticket release letter.  When she went to look for the birth certificate she came back saying “have you ever had a birth certificate?”

“Yes, when I was born.”

“I mean, have you ever seen it?”

“Yes, why?” I asked.

“Because I can’t find it.”

I just looked dazed.  I didn’t know what to do or think.  “You have got to be fucking kidding” is really what I was thinking.  Then she starts asking me is this really how everything was slept?  Am I sure my last name was not my mothers last name, or maiden name?

Hell know it wasn’t!  Well, I mean yes, my mother did have the same last name as me.  I mean my parents were fucking married! lady!  My parents never got a divorce!  My parents would still be married had my mom not died!  What the fuck do you mean you can’t find my birth certificate?  What in gods name am I supposed to do now?  WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?

Again, I didn’t say all that but I was certainly thinking it.  She went back and looked again.

While she was gone I did say to my dad “you have got to be fucking kidding me.”  I was thinking if she came back and said she couldn’t find it I was just going to tell her to have me arrested now because I’m about to go outside and start driving my car without a fucking license and just say “FUCK IT!”

She came back and as she was walking back to the counter she yelled “I found it.”

Thank god!

And as I was sitting there waiting for the birth certificate I was wondering if I was going to have to show ID for my release letter.  Thankfully I didn’t.

Then it was off to the DMV, which I believe is now called DDS: Department of Driver Safety.  Whatever.

While I was waiting in the court house they had a new pamphlet telling you what would be needed to get a DL.  According to that, I had everything so I didn’t think there would be a problem.

When we got to the DMV/DDS there was a friendly, older, African-American lady working the desk and running things!  I liked her.  She asked “what are you here for?”

“To get a license” I replied.

“Come on up, please” she said.

Then she listed off things, reasons, like renewal, blah, blah, reinstatement, blah, blah, blah.

“Um, suspended” I chocked.  She was talking loud enough everyone in the room could hear us.  I felt like a fucking criminal when I had to say they were suspended.

“That would be a reinstatement.  Take these papers, put all of your need documents on the top of this clipboard, out of your little folder, and come back when you number is called.”

I should have said “it was just because I forgot to pay a traffic ticket, it’s not because I’m some damn drunk-driving criminal!”  Though I didn’t say anything, other than “okay.”

But it turns out I did have everything I needed so it wasn’t painful at all.

But I do know this other ticket I have, I will be paying that mother-fucker on goddamn time so I don’t have to go through this bullshit again and I don’t DOUBLE the fucking cost of the ticket!  And I’m hoping that ticket doesn’t cost $200 damn dollars…but there’s no telling.  I should be able to call up there now and find out.  They said 2 weeks but I may as well call now and get an idea.  She should at least have an idea of what it will cost.

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